


Epic Bromance

by doctor_jasley



Category: Stargate Atlantis, The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctor_jasley/pseuds/doctor_jasley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ronon and Thor are bromancy and John facepalms over their mission reports.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epic Bromance

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted for the Avengers Kink meme(alas no porn).
> 
> This story takes its inspiration from the older SGA fics that talk about faily mission reports and the newer Avengers fics that follow the same trope. 
> 
> Also, I'm a first time writer for both of these fandoms.

John hates having to approve requisition forms. Okay, he hates having to do paperwork period, especially when he has to read over mission reports before submitting them. Rodney rambles and rants about the idiocy level of the local population of wherever they’ve been to, no matter the actual intelligence of those they’ve met with. Teyla’s concise, but most of her terminology escapes John’s understanding. And Ronon writes things like:

**Was shot at. Returned fire. Was shot at again. Threw explosive. No more shooting. Went home.**

**This village has good wine. Rodney besmirched the wine. Had to defend his honor. Was shot at.**

John can understand why Ronon would write his recounts of missions in this fashion, but it makes John’s life harder when he’s trying to connect everyone’s accounts together so he can send them in to Elizabeth. It doesn’t help that Ronon’s found a new friend to bestow his advice on how to fill out mission reports and request forms. Thor is just as bad as Ronon is and it gives John a headache.

He’s shuffling through the forms and separating them into piles of _maybe, no, hell no, and how is that even possible?_ when he comes across one that’s not filled out with ink bleeding from the other side of the form. John flips the page over while mentally betting himself fifty dollars that the request is from Thor. The big guy just can’t seem to grasp the idea of filling in the lines that ask for the items being requested.

**John, son of the flock keepers,**

****

  


**I, Thor Odinson, would beseech you for these items.**

**A mace**  
 **A broad sword**  
 **the strange brown liquid the mages hoard**

John scrubs a hand through his hair before thinking better of the action, Rodney already heckles him for his gravity-defying hair, and sets the form aside when he gets to the mention of the science teams. He’s going to have to catch Ronon on one of his lone journeys to the mess hall for food and ask him to re-explain requisition forms to Thor, _again_. There’s no way he can just manifest a Conan-type sword or a huge-ass mace. John’s good, but not that damn good.

Also, Thor has a hammer, he doesn’t need a random sword. John shakes his head. There’s no way to explain Ronon’s new best friend forever, Rodney’s snappy retort to _something_ Thor said about Ronon, not John’s.

Thor’s apparently some alien prince traveling different worlds so he can forge treaties of good will and yadda yadda yadda. John kind of stopped listening after the first minute of realizing the fucking blonde giant of a man wasn’t going to start trying to kill any of them. Guys with charming bro attitudes rarely want to slaughter innocents by the dozens. Well, John never has so..

Needless to say, Elizabeth had wet her panties over the idea. Which, has ended up with Atlantis housing Thor as he makes friends, causes Rodney to yell every time the two of them cross paths, and generally makes John want to literally headdesk every time Thor decides he wants to follow Major Lorne on a routine mission and comes back with a singed cape, or covered in mud.

Has John mentioned he hates paperwork? Because he does. He _really, really does_.

Maybe he should just give up for the day and ask Teyla if she wants to kick his ass for a few hours. Thor’s makeshift form stares up at him. John eyeballs it. Fuck it, he’ll do paperwork later.

When he gets to the gym-slash-training area there’s a tiny crowd of marines watching as Thor and Ronon spar. The match is friendly, but damn, John’s exhausted just from tracking Ronon’s movements, and he’s in shape. He decides to leave because he’d rather not get asked to join in on that. It happened once -a few days ago- and was embarrassing as fuck, worse than getting pinned to the mat by Teyla’s foot.

John’s happy about the bromance, or whatever it is Ronon has going on with Thor, but he doesn’t want to be tugged into their weird mating ritual. He’s fine being left out of the mix. The less reason to make Rodney mock him the better. John doesn’t mind, but he hates having to make extra time to snark more at Rodney and throw math equations at him because that ends up with the rest of his day being taken up by _touch this thing that might blow up, poke that thing that will probably blow up, and don’t fucking touch that, it could blow up sooner than everything else_.

As he’s leaving, John passes Major Lorne and gets a fresh stack of mission reports shoved into his hands. _Joys_. Oh look, Thor’s report is on the top, _goody_. John’s going to abolish paper reports and make everything completely digital -as it should have already been transferred over to- and then he’s going to appoint Major Lorne to look over all mission reports for all teams save John’s. He’s nice enough to keep Rodney’s snide population barbs from anyone else.

Thor’s mission report mocks him as he walks and eventually John sighs and leans against a wall while he skims the first page.

**The herds of woolen animals here are pleasing. The citizens are willing to trade the hides for bartered goods. John and his kin will be pleased.**

Yeah, he’s going to have to talk to Ronon about Thor’s report skills stat.


End file.
